he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
