I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize