You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize