No stitches, just platelets and will power
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
