Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
