3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
