Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm passing your future prison.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
