Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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