Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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