One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
