I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
