Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
