do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize