I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
