I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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