And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
