Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
there was a trapeze. enough said
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
