Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
