and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
