The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
