we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
