As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
