my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
