not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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