Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
