dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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