I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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