ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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