You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
