I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I can't put those talents on a resume
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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