She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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