I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
