Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
