Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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