He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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