he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
