So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
