sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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