And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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