i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
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She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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