Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
