he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize