i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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