I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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