Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
No subtext here. People are naked.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
