***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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