I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She bit a glass in half.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
