just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
