I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
