awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Can you repeat that, but with context?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
