no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
