Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
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I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
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You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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