but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize