we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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