Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
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Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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