i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Can I color on your dick again?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
