But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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