drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i dont even know how to be here
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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