If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize