I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
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Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
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It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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