yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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