I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
