He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
