so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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